Monday, June 4, 2007

Plague of Babies

There are too many people in the world. For realz. If we're not going to eat them, having more babies will just add to the problem. Seriously. Death is the best option for most embryos. Besides, there may not even be a limbo anymore (thanks, Ratzinger!) so they'll basically get a straight shot to Heaven - a heck of a lot better deal than the tribulations the rest of you mortals have to go through in your vale of tears. Oh yeah, and women should have, like, rights and stuff, to control their own bodies, I guess. It's like William Harrison says. And hey, if you're a woman, you'll do better in your career without a kid anyway! According to Cornell sociologist Shelly Correll, childless women are twice as likely to receive call-backs for job interviews. But mainly, MORE DEATH!!!

Here's some info on the abortion controversy.

Childless-by-choice info here, here, here and here.

These fools feel that "the [over-population concerned] extremists are only drawing out the underlying philosophy of environmentalism to make it more explicit... If you hold that human life is worth less than the natural order, then you will have less respect for its sanctity. The ecological outlook is an expression of middle-class rage at the masses... Environmentalism, like all political discourses that take shortage as their starting point, will tend towards misanthropic solutions. Any movement that begins with the view that mankind must be curtailed to reduce the pressure on the environment will have to start thinking how it will select those who must make sacrifices," and then they self-righteously admit to being anthropocentric speciesists.

And in all seriousness, ecologist Garret Hardin (the "Tragedy of the Commons" dude) concisely makes my point thusly:

Society does not need more children; but it does need more loved children. Quite literally, we cannot afford unloved children - but we pay heavily for them every day. There should not be the slightest communal concern when a woman elects to destroy the life of her thousandth-of-an-ounce embryo. But all society should rise up in alarm when it hears that a baby that is not wanted is about to be born.

Feministe points out that pro-choicers are like, "here, have some contraceptives to prevent having to have abortions in the first place," while idiotic pro-lifers are like, "f*ck that!"

And, less seriously, some posthumous humor (take that, Crypt Keeper!). Stop reading now if you are offended by tasteless jokes...

Why did the baby fall out of the tree?
Because he was dead!

Why did the dead baby cross the road?
It was stapled to the chicken.

What's the difference between a bucket of gravel and a bucket of baby guts?
You can't gargle gravel.

How do you make a dead baby float?
Take your foot off of it's head.
and of course...

What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.
Thank you, thank you, I'm here all night.

1 comment:

ΕΡΜΕΣ said...

from Jill at Feministe:

"Republicans hate babies. And children. This is truly pathetic. They’re really earning their pro-life title — as protesters swarm clinics in Birmingham and Wichita to praise doctor and cop-killers and to stalk and harass clinic staff, and as mainstream anti-choice groups take steps to cut abortion access and force women to give birth, their representatives in Congress refuse to fund a health care plan that could help millions of children... When anti-choice leaders say they care about babies and 'life,' they’re either lying or they’re damn stupid."

and my response:

I think Jill is right. But to add a fantastic conspiratorial flair: I suspect the anti-choice elites are fully cognizant of the "plague of babies" sweeping the world, but they need those babies to be born in order to burden/subjugate lower-class women and families. But before the downside of their strategy takes place (overpopulation, swelling proletariot numbers), they pro-actively intend to let the babies die off (from inflicting poor healthcare on them) after they've served their purpose. It's a brilliant strategy, really.